Most of us work hard to keep up our outward appearances. We dress well, groom ourselves, color our hair to stay looking young, buy products that help our skin, stay in shape or lose weight to look better, and think about what others think about how we look.
No slight to any of that, but showing up well isn’t only about our outward appearances. Studies do show that people see well-dressed people as having more authority, but showing up as a person who can lead others well, is not mostly about outward appearances. Our outward appearance is not going to help us lead well. It’s not going to help us communicate best.
What if we worked as hard on our inward appearances, the appearance of our hearts, as we did on the outside? Choosing the right clothes. Donning the most trendy hairstyle. Putting on the best makeup, and joining in on the newest fitness craze. Or listening to empowering people. Reading positive and uplifting material. Thinking about how we can do better by other people. Working to desire to do better for others. Caring about even those whom we’d like not to like.
Showing up better on the inside takes far more work and intention than showing up well on the outside. We can buy really good outward appearances. Not so with our insides. No amount of money is going to make you a good person. You can’t buy great character traits. You have to work on them. You can buy training and coaches and motivational materials that can help you to begin the process of change.
Spend time thinking about your thinking. Spend time analyzing your communication with others. Get a coach (ahem!!), get some training (ahem!!), keep refining what you do well and eliminating what holds you back. (And trust me there are things holding you back.)
Your communication is a power that goes far beyond any power your outward appearance will ever have. And to be honest, beautiful people are right ugly when their communication stinks.
Go ahead. Spend some time and money on your inner appearances. It’ll be worth every dime, and you’ll be more beautiful or handsome for it. 





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Connie Benoit Sirois

Connie Benoit Sirois

Author | Speaker | Trainer

We are called to love others as ourselves. Our communication gives us continual opportunities to do this. We should never miss a chance to honor others. I’d love for you to read about my mission.

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