Let Me Just Call a Spade a Spade AUDIO
Way too much of the stuff that comes flying out of our mouths is evil. Way too much of the stuff that came flying out of my mouth for many years was evil. You may be saying, “WOW, Connie. That’s a bit over-generalized. Don’t you think?” Ummm. … (pause while I consider if I’m over-generalizing because I have been told by former colleagues that I do that) … Err, no. No, I don’t think that I am overgeneralizing when I say that a lot of what came flying out of my mouth and a lot of what I hear coming out of the mouths of other people is evil. Way too much of what we say is disrespectful or condescending or judgmental or hurtful or critical. It’s just negative. We can just combine all of those things and call that negative.
That’s harsh, I know, but the truth is often harsh. Now maybe you’re thinking that “evil” is a strong word and that I ought to be careful about how I label what people are doing. Heck, you might even be thinking that it’s awfully judgmental of me to be judging. But here’s the flat reality, we experience far too much negativity and disrespect in the world. In my work, I deal mostly with the business world; that is where I find my calling. But I am well aware that personal lives are fraught with this negativity too.
And the more that I help businesspeople and sometimes friends and family process what’s happening around them, the more that I feel that honesty is the best policy on this one. We need to call a spade a spade, and we need to say enough is enough.
Evil exists in the world, and it comes right out of our mouths, my friends. I’d love to stop all that from happening, for sure, and that’s what my ministry with the impact directive seeks to do, but in the meantime, while we’re waiting for positive to overtake negative, I want to encourage you to stand strong against this evil. It wants to conquer you. Maybe you know that it already has conquered you. It had conquered me for a long time in my life.
How does it conquer you? It gets you to be negative. It gets you to focus on what is bad or problematic. It gets you to say ugly things about people who have used evil against you. It gets you to play the game. I want to tell you that it is a game that you cannot win. In no lifetime will negativity ever bring you a winning hand. It will never get you a joyful heart. It will conquer you because it will consume you.
We get upset and offended and throw more negativity out into the world, but here’s the fact of the matter, it takes upwards of 5-7 positive thoughts to replace one negative thought in our brain. That should give us pause. We should consider just how much negative we are allowing in our lives. And let me tell you from personal experience; it is awfully easy to blame the negative on other people and situations and circumstances and what life has dealt you. It is easy to get caught in family curses that linger from one generation to the next. It is easy to be negative and think that you are not negative. I would never have thought that I was a negative person, but I am a recovering negativist.
Don’t dupe yourself. Be honest with your every thought. Think about your thoughts. That’s metacognition. It’s scientific. It’s studied. It’s a good practice. We need to think about our thoughts. What you find may alarm you at first, but that’s okay. Being alarmed is what makes change happen. It’s the first step to being different.
We have to change our internal communication in order to change our external communication. What we say comes from the heart; Proverbs tells us that. So what we feed our heart dictates what we say. You can do this. Once you make the move to change the negative that you might be allowing to be thought in your head, you have to be consistent in keeping it out. You will gain momentum and realize in a few months that you think less negative stuff.
“But,” you say, “what about all the other people who are going to continue to spew negativity into the world? They are everywhere. What the heck am I supposed to do about them?” You’re right. Negative people will continue to exist in the world. As a matter of fact, as you begin your journey to ridding this evil from your life, you will be faced with more of it than you ever imagined was there. Evil comes after those it feels are being lost to the good.
So what do you do? You face the negative with a mind for the positive. You look for everything that can be seem as good or positive or potential or promise. This is hard; I know. I hear you grumbling. I hear you telling me that I just don’t understand how ugly your co-worker is to you. I hear you saying that your boss is rude and condescending and you just can’t see any good in him or her. I hear you fussing that your mom is always putting you down and that you think that she actually hates you. I hear you. I hear you focusing on the negative. I hear you bringing evil into your mind. When you say all of these things to yourself, that is what you are doing. I hear you and I want you to stop bringing that negative in.
Now I know you might think that I am burying my head in the sand. And I know that you might very well have gotten some good advice to speak with these people and to come clean with them about their actions and words, and you should follow whatever good counseling advice that you have, but let me take you through a process first before you do what those others have suggested.
Let me ask you to think on this before you make your move or before you let even one more negative thought into your mind. Your communication is powerful. I like to say that it is our superpower. We are all superheroes or villains. And we all have the choice of who we are going to be. Right? We all have that choice.
“Evil” can seem a harsh word to describe the negativity and disrespect we experience in the world, but that is what it is, and when we allow it in to conquer us, when we get upset and offended and send more negativity out into the world, we are not stopping that evil.
So what do you do? Here are three things to think about as you move forward after this blog post.
1 – Use your human ability at metacognition. Pay attention to what you are thinking.
2 – Look for the positive or the potential or the promise in any given situation or circumstance. Look for what you can do to speak positive into a situation. Find the things that can be seen as positive. What is the glass half full?
3 – Speak that positive out. And focus your mind on it. Think about it, and when negative comes up, replace it with positive thinking.
Easier said than done, right?. I know. But consistency over time will help you to rid this evil from almost every moment of your life. This negativity needs to go. So let’s just call a spade a spade. Let’s look at where negative is and think together that we want to get rid of it.
Make your IMPACT Matter.
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Connie Benoit Sirois
Consultant | Writer | Speaker
We are called to love others as ourselves. Our communication gives us continual opportunities to do this. We should never miss a chance to honor others. I’d love for you to read about my mission.