People tell stories
Part of the way that we communicate with one another is through stories. I don’t always like the “stories” told about me, especially the ones that focus on mistakes and shortfalls, habits and personality traits, sins and omissions. I’ve had my share of these stories (haven’t we all) from family (well-meaning of course), from friends or “friends” (usually behind my back), and from students when I taught at a university (expected of course).
Some of these “stories” aren’t truth. Some of them take situations out of context and see from a limited perspective what really happened. Some of them are exaggerations in an attempt to save the teller from personal embarrassment. AND some of them are dead on…absolute truth. These true stories have become the base of my business “ministry.” They are MY story, and I am learning to communicate that to the world so that others can learn from my journey, messy as it is.
Thankful for the stories
And for the true, the false, and the lies, I am thankful. Thankful for the reminder that I am a work in progress. Thankful for the reminder that I am more than I used to be. Thankful for the reminder that I will never please everyone. Thankful for the reminder that I have an infinite number of chances to grow and develop (no matter my age). Thankful for the lessons that come from this reality of life. Thankful that I am learning to communicate better with myself and others because of these stories.
For more years than I care to admit, I was afraid to truly change because others were so convinced of who I really was, and because they were so convinced, I too was convinced. They were so sure and so vocal about my “ways” that I held on to that for dear life. It was extremely counterproductive for me, but I let it happen. I am still working on never letting it happen again.
Others and our stories
In my attempt to be more and live better and grow into the woman that God has designed me to be, I have come to see that “some people” will never let me change or that they will dismiss my change because of who I used to be. They hold on to the negative, and I’m not really sure what the reason is for this. They focus in on all that I have done less than right and throw that in the face of all that I am attempting to do right. But the beauty here is that they aren’t me, and they aren’t in control of what ultimately I become.
When I first began this journey and definitely when I started to speak about it, I think I was concerned more about whether they would believe my change than I was about just making the change. You see, my focus on their opinions meant that my self-talk was trash. And that, my friend, is where real change must begin.
Change the story
When I began to study how to change my self-talk, I hit the jackpot on changing the “stories” being told about me. Because you see, the stories that I started changing were the ones that I was telling myself. What we repeat to our subconscious mind is crucial. And no matter what others are saying about me or to me, I am the master of my thoughts. I am the creator of my “stories.”
So if you have ever found yourself at the other end of a “story” that you dislike, say this with me: “I am more than the sum of some people’s comments. I am what God says about me.” My journey is far from over, but I know that I am on a path that is better and brighter and bigger than any that I have been on before.
May your journey to beautiful self communication be blessed as well,
Connie Benoit Sirois
Consultant | Writer | Speaker
We are called to love others as ourselves. Our communication gives us continual opportunities to do this. We should never miss a chance to honor others. I’d love for you to read about my mission.